Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Winds of change!
I am not liking the feeling of everything changing. I have had enough change in my life the past 5 months haven't I. I thought by changing the color of my hair I would be changing something I had control over and now I don't even like that anymore. Too much change!! The weather is changing...we had our first snow yesterday and I even went sledding with the kids today. Fun, but now that really means my days in my black flip flops are over. I think that as the season changes I am once again reminded that time is still moving forward and at times without me. We are getting new carpet, yes a good thing, but another change. The house is in shambles and I think I am getting a tic. I need consistency in my life! J has been talking about some new things too. Yikes! More change and maybe a big one. I want to do what is going to make him happy, but I am not sure I can go through any kind of a move right now. Even a move that is an hour away. I love the school we are in, good friends and I feel like we are settling into the community there. I guess what I do need is for God to change my heart....I need to trust Him more and to know that it is not about where we are, it is about the people that God wants us to meet. Who does God want us to touch? Today when I was cleaning all the stuff out of closets making a huge mess to prepare for the new carpet, I came across a really old planner of mine. Remember those big Franklin Covey planners? Yes, that one with the cool leather cover. Anyway, I found some of the notes my mom had written me as I prepared to leave for another semester of college. I sat on the floor and cried. I thought of all the things she said to me about God preparing me for what will lie ahead in my life and I cried out to God and asked why I thought all those things were so hard compared to this!? If I would have known 10 years ago what I was going to go through in 2006 I may have left on a ship and never came back. But, then I would have missed so much more....an incredible husband, 4 beautiful children and so much more. So, in the end is change a good thing? Even the painful things? Does change always have to hurt? I think I am like my dad when it comes to change and I know R is just like me. I am certain of one thing that Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever! Aren't I a good Foursquare girl? :) I am ok...I will be ok and maybe soon there will be a change I am excited about! I just need to remember all the things that will never change:J, R,O,Z&P too, my family, God....all big things that I could never live without. "But there's one thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: God's loyal love couldn't have run out his merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over). He's all I've got left. " Lamentations 3:22 I guess the winds of change will keep blowing if I like it or not...just please blow softly and slowly, we are still recovering from the tsunami that changed the landscape of our lives.
PS- One more picture of the Princess...I couldn't resist. Where are the boys when I have my camera out. I promise next time it will be the boys.