How are you?

Why is that question so hard for people to ask when they know that the answer is not going to be a quick answer of "good"? I have been out a few times lately talking about wines, gourmet food, work, sports music and money. Absoultely none of those things truly interest me right now....I guess those things must have interested me at one point, but last night I was waiting for the black birds to come flying through the window at any time and start pecking my eyes out.....then I would have had a reason for the tears to come out that were welling up on the inside. I can hardly handle the surface conversations anymore. Life is to short to not use the time you have in making real investments in peoples lives. I did try to participate in the conversation with some questions for them and so wanted them to just ask us how we were. I felt as if I was going to burst into tears at any second.....they knew what we had just been through and did anyone care what kind of effort it takes for me to actually get out of the house? I didn't want to talk about how my dying baby looked or anything else that would make them uncomfortable, I just wanted to be asked how I was. What is so hard about that? Asking me that question will not make me suddenly remember what I have just been through, it is nearly all I think about. That question will not make me sad, I already am sad. That question will only make me feel like you care and have out aside your own discomfort with grief to see how I really am feeling. I promise when I ask that question of others that I will not have a quick response planned out, but be ready to listen with a compassionate heart. "How are you?" is an important question that needs to be asked and honestly answered......I know this all may sound like I want everything to be all about me, but I don't. I just want it to be about cultivating good, solid relationships with people. All of us need more of those kind of relationships in our lives.