Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Remembering

On Thursday it will be 2 years since I have held Pearl in my arms.....I can't even believe how that sentence looks in print. So strange to hear how final that sounds. This isn't a dream...we really did say hello and goodbye all in one breath to our baby. We really did sit under a green tent sitting on fuzzy chairs on a hot summer day and listen as our Pastor prayed over our sweet babys casket. I can't believe I had to say goodbye to a baby that I actually held in my arms. Almost to much for me to take in right now. I do know that He is carrying me and I am thankful for each step I have taken. He has already walked this road and is in each step I take. I can say He is good and I do trust Him...even in the midst of the heartache.

This has been a hard few days here and I know the days that follow are going to be hard too. Tonight as I looked at the pink clouds in the sky I could feel my sweet Pearl snuggled on my chest and my chin resting on the top of her head. I wept as I drove, thanking God for the memory that has not faded away. I miss her so much.....

We will be together as a family remembering our baby and celebrating her life....remember with me how she has changed your life. I know she has changed mine and for that I will be forever grateful.

God, will you please be sure to video her Birthday party? I know she has made so many new friends in the past few months. Give her Birthday kisses for me and please dance with her too. Maybe there is even a pretty pink Birthday Princess dress she could wear. Whisper in her ear how much I love her and how much I miss her too. Thank her for being so brave and for the gift of her baby sister too. Tell her we are going to pierce L's ears with little Pearl earrings on her Birthday. L needs a way to remember too.....One more thing, give her three little kisses because that is how we always kiss everyone here too.

10 comments:

Emily said...

Oh sweet friend, my heart is with you. I am lifting you up. I will not forget your sweet Pearl on her birthday, the day she changed the world and Heaven, too. I am so thankful to God for allowing me to come alongside mothers whose children are there, dancing at his feet, and whose hearts are aching like mine this summer. He is big enough to hold us together. And He will.


You don't want to come to Atlanta the last weekend of this month, do you?? ;)

Carlton and Aimee Weathers said...

Laura,
I am remembering Pearl this week. If it weren't for your precious baby, I would never know you. It was so good to hear your voice this morning. I'll be expecting you soon....:)

Corie said...

Praying for you this week. Love you my dear friend. Pearl has blessed my life so much through her momma. I just can't wait to meet her. I can't believe have only known you since October 17th. Wow I even know the exact date. It seems like a lifetime. Thankful to be able to pray with you today.

boltefamily said...

I am thinking of sweet Pearl on her birthday! She has touched many lives, mine included! I am so excited for "String of Pearls". I so wish I were closer! I would love to meet you and give you a huge hug! I think of you so very often!

Much love and many prayers,
Kristy

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Sweet Pearl!
xoxoxoxoxoxo

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Princess! Celebrate today! We love and miss you bunches! Thank you for preparing Heaven for us. I'm sure it is as beautiful as you are.
xoxo
Nicole

Anonymous said...

I let some pretty pink balloons go yesterday at your special place. I knew you got them when they were out of my sight. We celebrate you Sweet Pearl, a daughter, a sister,a granddaughter, a GIFT. xo e

Shanygne said...

Sitting here with tears... I know that Pearl and Morgen had a great time dancing together at Pearl's party... as my tears continue to get harder, I find both my pain and my joy growing.
Thank you for choosing to send me an email when I needed you most... and I thank God that I decided to write you back. You are a balm to my soul, my sweet Laura!! I am so very thankful that we have been able to walk the journey of mourning, confusion, hurt and renewal together

Kirsten said...

Happy belated birthday, sweet Pearl. Hugs and prayers to you as you take one day at a time this whole month. I imagine there have been many tears.

Today is just two months since we said hello and goodbye to our Chloe. It seems like forever ago and yet so fresh at the same time. In some ways I still can't believe it is my reality - like it was a dream instead of my real life. But it is my real life.

Thank you for sharing your story and your journey. It is an encouragement to meet you and others who have walked this journey and continuing on in a healthy way. I'm so thankful for each of you!

God bless you and your family today.

Blessings,
Kirsten

Kenzie said...

Laura-

Thinking of you tonight and all that sweet Pearl is doing with our Lord Jesus tonight. Maybe they are talking about all the fun they had at her party a few weeks ago... maybe they are talking about summer plans... It's amazing to think that one day we will be with them forever, those little ones that we love so much. Praying for you and your family!

Love lots,
Kenzie