Remembering

On Thursday it will be 2 years since I have held Pearl in my arms.....I can't even believe how that sentence looks in print. So strange to hear how final that sounds. This isn't a dream...we really did say hello and goodbye all in one breath to our baby. We really did sit under a green tent sitting on fuzzy chairs on a hot summer day and listen as our Pastor prayed over our sweet babys casket. I can't believe I had to say goodbye to a baby that I actually held in my arms. Almost to much for me to take in right now. I do know that He is carrying me and I am thankful for each step I have taken. He has already walked this road and is in each step I take. I can say He is good and I do trust Him...even in the midst of the heartache.

This has been a hard few days here and I know the days that follow are going to be hard too. Tonight as I looked at the pink clouds in the sky I could feel my sweet Pearl snuggled on my chest and my chin resting on the top of her head. I wept as I drove, thanking God for the memory that has not faded away. I miss her so much.....

We will be together as a family remembering our baby and celebrating her life....remember with me how she has changed your life. I know she has changed mine and for that I will be forever grateful.

God, will you please be sure to video her Birthday party? I know she has made so many new friends in the past few months. Give her Birthday kisses for me and please dance with her too. Maybe there is even a pretty pink Birthday Princess dress she could wear. Whisper in her ear how much I love her and how much I miss her too. Thank her for being so brave and for the gift of her baby sister too. Tell her we are going to pierce L's ears with little Pearl earrings on her Birthday. L needs a way to remember too.....One more thing, give her three little kisses because that is how we always kiss everyone here too.