Can't get motivated....

Ok, so the tree is up, the lights are on, the pearls are on the tree thanks to my sister and the boxes of ornaments have been sitting on the fireplace for 5 days. The stockings are hung on the mantel....only 3 kids stockings and it hurts to look at that. I don't feel like doing any of this. We talked tonight about just letting the kids decorate the tree....all the ornaments on one low branch in the same spot. It would be fun for them and fun for me to watch. Maybe I am depressed.....I just have no desire to do any of this. I want to make some gifts, I want to get stuff for my stocking person and that is it. The mass of the mall does not appeal to me....maybe with a glass of spiked cider and my mom and sister waltzing through Nordstrom. I can do this....right? I need to get into the whole Christmas thing for my kids. I love Christmas....this is just not the Christmas I thought we were going to have. I am praying this Christmas we will really remember what this is all about. Jesus came to earth....left the place I want to be. He came because he loved us so much and wanted us to be with him in heaven forever. Because he came we will see our Pearl again. That should be something that makes me smile and want to go decorate the tree with my kids.....here comes Z asking again. I guess I better go with a smile on my face and maybe the smile in my heart will follow. Oh, I hope so.......